"Orgasm control is a sexual practice intent on extending the period just before orgasm…
For as long as reasonably possible, heightening stimulation and intensity of eventual release…
Achieved through many different techniques, it is employed both for pleasure and - Cock Control"

(By: Domina Amanda) A friend of mine who is a part of the Boston BDSM community wrote me a letter recently describing an orgasm control workshop he's been hosting for male sex slave students. The purpose - to help train male property to a higher degree of sexual value through hands on instruction by another male. An accomplished master in the realm of homosexual domination and BDSM practices, he is very well versed in his field and a skilled teacher.
 
I know for a fact his cock sucking workshops have been very successful, primarily because he can demonstrate technique himself on the male sex slave, and then have them perform on him so he can give pinpoint correction. But I don't know what to think of his orgasm control classes yet, since the dynamics of are quite different. I'm inclined to have confidence in his cock instruction, since dominatrix friends who have sent slaves to his school before - both to increase the value of male prostitute property and give a male sex slave exposure to forced bi in a unique setting - speak well of his methods and results. But these reviews have again, been mostly of his cock sucking classes… the orgasm control workshop is still new.
 
He describes the orgasm control class as being taught first from lecture - the male sex slave students are given detailed explanation on just what this style of cock control is… what the reasons and advantages of its practice are to both the male sex slave and the owner… and tricks to improve one's obedience and self control, while making your cock and performance ever more pleasing. After this, he calls individual students forward, using them to demonstrate points made while the others watch. Over a period of days each male sex slave receives direct attention multiple times - there is a 2 day weekend class, and a 5 day full cock control program. Orgasm is only allowed if the owner has given prior consent, and even then the possibility only exists at logical points in the course (I'm told these occassions are also used to give cum swallowing lessons to those students in whore training).
 
Now, some might say - why would any owner send their slave property to be trained by another. Childish notions like that are for the simplistic who are either insecure or too new to BDSM to understand the deeper dynamics of community. It's not something one needs to do, it's something one can do to achieve certain goals. I've had many men and woman ask to send me their property for periods of time, to take advantage of my experience and influence. For that matter I've had many dominants ask me to help them learn more about proper and safe BDSM practices within fetishes they wish to enjoy. (continued - cock control)

Domina Amanda
Orgasm Control Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

"While sexual domination is an obvious means of controlling a male sex slave…
Female domination is never dependent upon strictly sexual means…
A dominatrix can easily have total obedience by simple fact of her superior will…
Cock control, is control of the male… but it's not what creates the correct order of the sexes…
It is merely a reflection and single aspect of something greater - Female Superiority"

"I enjoy telling femdom stories about naughty little sluts in need of punishment…
Eager assholes, spread wide and aching for deep femdom strapon attention…
Dirty boys who need a chastity belt to keep them from touching themselves all day…
And all the other wonderful options that present themselves for a dominatrix to enjoy - Female Domination"

(By: Domina Amanda - continuing from - Femdom Stories) I was telling you all about this beautiful young chastity slut I owned a few years ago… the one with such amazingly expressive eyes…
 
The chastity belt was actually her idea in the beginning. It was a fetish she'd explored before but she was looking for someone truly uncompromising who would set her into a very structured routine that would not be broken. As a lesbian submissive, she loved idea of female domination and sought out the more dedicated portions of the BDSM community… deciding to look for a dominatrix to submit to, one more seriously involved in femdom, and one not so much looking for a slave-girlfriend style relationship but something much closer to the sort of chastity slavery she hoped for.
 
The night we first met (NYC, at more of a femdom BDSM themed club than an actual placed dedicated to that - it was a nightclub with a goth-fetish-BDSM style atmosphere… not purely lesbian femdom, but more girl and gay friendly than open to the general public. A lot of my older femdom stories begin in places like this ~laughs~ I was never home at night), we were both immediately attracted to one another - me seeing her for the first time, but her having been interested in me for a few weeks already. When it was obvious that we were hitting it off, she asked me to come into a bathroom stall with her. There she pulled up the long skirt she was wearing and showed me the chastity belt she had on - a simple, comfortable leather one.
 
She looked me in the eyes - one of the only times she ever did such without command (this was that important to her and she very much wanted me to be the person she hoped I was) - and explained that she was looking for a controlling, dominant woman truly serious about female domination, who would be willing to take her on as a chastity slave… that she had seen me before, inquired with friends and sought me out with the hope of being able to offer herself to me if things felt right. She admitted to having been masturbating to the thought of me often during the past week, and had put her chastity belt on tonight just to make a proper introduction (even when not under the ownership of a key holder, she often wore a chastity belt - she loved the feel of them). But she promised not to fantasize about me anymore without permission, even if I rejected her (she loved masturbation as performance, especially in a femdom setting - she wanted to do it in front of others, to my commands… for me alone in whatever manner I desired, or on the floor in front of a group of people… these were her two favorite ways… and when she really got going, her pussy would start squirting when she came).
 
When she was done with her plea, she lowered her eyes and stood there quietly. I smiled… took her face in my hands… and kissed her very deeply. I then pushed her down on her knees… unzipped my jeans… pulled her face into my pussy… and had her bring me to orgasm right there. When she was done, I looked down at her and told her I would be her key holder, beginning this very moment… that we would be getting a new chastity belt for her that weekend… and that when it was on her I would explain the expectations of her new life with me as my slave. (Femdom Stories - click to continue reading)

Domina Amanda
Male Chastity Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

"In terms of femdom BDSM, I like playing with both men and women in many different ways…
The same holds true of having female domination sex with them… alone of in groups…
I also like to forced my slaves to have sex with one another… me as dominatrix director…
Chastity though, while I think it appropriate for all slaves, is a necessity for the male…
It’s a fundamental part of proper slave training that I regularly employ - Femdom Stories"

"Personally, I think the attentions of panty fetish boys and girls can be quite flattering…

A slave that's so desperately turned on by the thought of your panties and scent…

That he drops to his knees in worship of you, at just a glimpse of them.

I've known many like this in my life, and have always enjoyed their submission - Panty Tease"

During my time working and playing in the BDSM community, I've met all different kinds of panty fetish boys and girls. The particulars of their individual impulses have ranged greatly, from very focused, single minded worship of the objects themselves, to femdom sessions that incorporate other kinks on top of the panty fetish. But whatever the case, I've always found ways to enjoy these slaves… even if I can be a horribly cruel dominatrix when it comes to panty tease.
 
Example… I used to have a sissy maid who loved nothing more than doing my laundry. More than just a panty fetish, for many it's women's worn clothing in general, and so she would take care of all of my clothes with the utmost care, just so she could be near them through the whole cleaning process. She loved to collect them when they were dirty, slowly going through them, separating and sorting them for wash… she would them stay with them the whole time while they were in the machines, smiling like an attentive and proud mother (often preferring to wash my panties gently by hand while the machines were running)… taking them out of the washers to go carefully into the driers… and then when done, she would work with great patience and care slowly folding and organizing everything. Perfect little sissy maid laundress… and an excellent addition to any dominatrix household.
 
Another… a slave I originally met at a private BDSM party that a dominatrix friend of mine put on (a gathering at her dungeon, with mild femdom play). He had a near compulsive panty fetish - at just the suggestion of them, be it in conversation, or a quick glimpse of a woman crossing her legs (without any chance of the panties even being seen, just the thought of what was hidden inside that skirt), his behavior would change totally… shifting from "normal" to very submissive and aroused. I used to screw with him so badly, setting up panty tease scenarios just to see what would happen to him, especially in public. Sometimes I would be the focus, other times I would use one or two of my slave girls without him expecting.
 
Like… I'd have him over to clean my apartment (this was back in NYC, somewhat early in my dominatrix career), while I would wear things like a very short black skirt, thigh high black lace stockings and matching panties. I'd kept getting up and sitting down, walking around the house, picking things up, etc… and then turn quickly and catch him watching me, which would lead to me scolding him. Cute, simple panty tease that drove him wild.
 
But this one time, while I was teasing him this way… two of my slave girls came home, wearing nothing but tight little bikinis (something I planned of course). They came to me, dropping to their knees to present themselves and be petted, and then we all started laughing and talking together… me in my tight, too short skirt, and them in their tiny bikinis. As if this weren't enough to almost make panty fetish boy pass out, I had told them to pull at their bikini bottoms often, to complain they were too tight… that their pussies were itching in them… that they were wet and sticky, etc ~laughs~… really playing up the panty tease to a sadistic sort of level for him.
 
I thought panty fetish boy would pass out… I could see him literally shaking. I let this carry on a painfully long time for him… the girls making the panty tease even more intense by reaching out to touch each other and say things like "you're so wet I want a taste" and "your pussy is so hot I can feel it through your bikini"… while we ignored him totally. Finally I turned suddenly to him and said, "you want to cum don’t you?" The desperation on his face was so strong he could barely get the words out clearly enough to beg me properly. I let him jerk off right there, as he cried out his worship of me. I swear it took less than ten seconds for him to pour out a load all over the newspapers he had put out in front of himself.
 
BDSM presents an almost limitless number of kinks, and this style of panty fetish was the ultimate form of femdom for this slave boy. For the sissy maid laundress I earlier mentioned the same was true, in her way.

Domina Amanda
Panty Fetish Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

"Do you know what Burusera is? It's a Japanese word that basically means panty seller.

In Japan there are stores that sell used panties and female clothing…

Providing pictures of the girl's wearing them as proof of their used status.

But not just stores… they even have vending machines offering packaged pairs - Panty Fetish"

"The second in a new series of femdom websites dedicated to male slave training…

Hosted by a gathering of some of the best dominatrix instructors known…

Female superiority demands your submission… call to present yourself - Female Domination Sex"

The goddesses of LDW have decided to open yet another fetish site as part of their every growing domination phone sex empire ~grinz~ - click - Domination Bootcamp - to enter a femdom BDSM portal created to teach all men a simple truth - that the way of the female, is superiority… and the way of the male is only submission and slavery. Men are born to serve women… and women are born to have all that they desire.
 
"This isn't a place for domination sex games and cute teasing… this is a place for obedience only. You will learn to do as you are told, without question, without hesitation… you will obey the will of your dominatrix instructors and you will embrace your slavery… or you will know the cruelest punishments imaginable. No matter what path you take, in the end the conclusion will be the same…. you will obey, slave boy."
 
This site presents assignments written by the dominatrix elite of LDW for the single purpose of training you clumsy, ignorant men to be suitable slaves for your female betters. These instructions will include lessions in female domination and all aspects of service that your future owner will demand from you, both sexual and mundane. Guided masturbation assignments will train your cock in orgasm denial and control, giving your worthless dick a better chance to satisfy a woman by lasting longer than your normal 2 minutes. Femdom CBT sessions will introduce you to the pleasures a female sadist will enjoy as she abuses your body. You will learn how to properly worship a woman's beautiful ass, and appreciate the wonderful rewards of face sitting as you are made a throne for your lovely owner. You will be exposed to the pleasures found in BDSM that a woman might use a male sex slave for, and learn how to be an obedient subject in such sessions. Femdom strapon training will open your ass to female domination sex, making you a proper ass whore for the rubber cock of any woman who wants to use you. And these are just the beginning on your path to becoming a male sex slave that may prove worth owning.
 
These assignments are only a start. They exist to prepare you for your next great stage in slave training - when you call one of our dominatrix instructors for a private lesson through domination phone sex. From there your training will develop at a much faster pace, with your teacher assessing your qualities and addressing your deficiencies. Whatever type of slave you most hope to become… be it a whipping boy for a female sadist looking for a pain slut that can endure her inhuman desires… an anal whore in need of deep strapon training so as to be found desirable to a dominatrix with a 12 inch cock, and a love for hours long domination sex… a chastity slave wanting to become well versed in long term orgasm denial… or any of the many other slave types that a woman might look to own, this site will open the door to your new life of male submission.
 
Domina Amanda
Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 
CBT means Cock and Ball Torture
 

"This is only the first step in your slave training… there is much more to be done with you…

I look forward to getting my hands on you in a private BDSM session…

There you will really learn about female superiority and how to serve a woman… 

Or you will know terrible pain for your failure - Domination Phone Sex"

"I am a dominant female… a lifestyle dominatrix…

and it is that dominance that is the constant in all things for me…

My sexual choices don't define who I am… who I am directs my sexual choices - Female Domination"

Throughout all of the essays I've written here, particularly those contributing to the "About Domina Amanda" series, I've talked greatly about myself, my views on life and female domination, and my sexual interests and activity within both the greater BDSM community and domination phone sex.
 
I've intentionally avoided the common practice of actually listing and categorizing all of the different sexual activities I enjoy in a single promotional essay. I've been involved in BDSM so deeply since I was too young to say, that my interests are far too varied for that. Simply running off titles of things you like, never really gives a clear view into how or why you do. Besides, attempts at fully listing things fetish by fetish comes off weird to me. It ends up looking more like a menu or checklist, and never fully does justice to the person's true sexuality.
 
Commonly, domination phone sex operators work within the confines of a set character type - they have specific things they do, in a specific way. This makes things simple - you want that, you go here - done. You can look at each one and say "she is this, she does that and it's done this way" - things boxed up nice and simple so you know what you are going to get.
 
That's not the case with me, nor is it with most human beings.
 
While I have tried to give an impression as to who I am and what to expect if you contact me… I've written as much as I have here to make it clear that I am not a single fetish and form. I am a lifestyle dominatrix… not just someone involved professionally in a scene with "dominatrix" being a title of profession, but someone whose lifestyle is in many ways best summed up by that same word - a strong female possessing a dominant personality and all of the natural superiority of her sex. While I do own slaves, do wear fetish clothing, do enjoy bondage and sadism, my sexual practices don’t define who I am… who I am directs my sexual choices, along with all other choices I make in life.
 
My involvement in female domination, BDSM, male sexual humiliation, domination phone sex, and everything related that you can think of runs much deeper than occupation or advertisement… or for that matter, hobby. As a result, my sexual interests are greatly varied as is my approach to them, but also, the level of experience I have in them means that how I choose to enjoy myself greatly varies with each situation and person.
 
No human being likes to do things the same way every time. Sure we all have general preferences that remain a constant, but some days we like our food hot and spicy… while other days we may like it a little more tame, yet still rich and flavorful. That's one of the things I always find interesting about people approaching a dominatrix… like I said earlier, they think you are some sort of one-dimensional creature… an assumption that doesn't really fit the "female superiority" that the same people so hope for when they cry submission ~laughs~.
 
Example - while I do very much like heavier, physical forms of female domination and BDSM, I also like more subtle femdom forms, even gentle methods of control and manipulation. I am a dominant female, and it is that dominance that is the constant in all things for me. How it is exhibited varies greatly in response to the situation and my mood, but since it's a fundamental part of my personality, it influences all that I am and directs the course I take in whatever I do and enjoy. I don't put limits on the possibilities after that, so long as they are consistent with who I am and what I believe. What matters is my enjoyment, my getting what I want, and there are many ways this can happen… just as there are many ways I can enforce my superiority over others. Female domination isn't a "style" or "role", it's the condition of having power over others… and the true dominant knows many paths towards this goal. (continued)  
 

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XLI - Domina Amanda
 

"Men like to deny the natural superiority of the female…

and try to claim that male domination is the rule, and female domination the exception…

and yet the instant a cock gets hard… all of these claims fail before reality - Tease and Denial"

"There is no better way to put a male slave in his place…

than a vicious dominatrix with a thick strapon cock who demands submission.

 Intense domination sex, with the female in total control - Femdom Phone Sex"

(continuing…) Do I ever encounter domination phone sex calls that present fetish fantasies even my stomach has difficulty tolerating?
 
Hell, yeah ~laughs~, it would be an easily recognizable crock of bullshit if I said otherwise. No one can like everything… but in my case, that doesn't mean I don't try to find some degree of enjoyment or even fun in such phone calls anyway… even if it's something I probably wouldn't do face-to-face. It's not that I give in to what the caller wants, or for that matter "fake it" - if it's that distasteful I won't go through with it. But just because I might not do something in "real life" doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed in the fantasy sense that femdom phone sex provides. So yeah, even the truly twisted have something to share ~laughs~. There are plenty of dark fantasies we all have had, desires that we probably would not want to really do for whatever reasons of morality, legality, taste, whatever. But that doesn't mean we can't imagine them… and the phone allows for types of BDSM, male humiliation and domination sex that fall into this category to still be shared and enjoyed with another person.
 
I've tried to be very clear throughout everything I've written here that I like the different, the extreme, and even the absurdly bizarre… so long as the line isn't crossed into what I decide is truly intolerable. I like to push my limits, sometimes even to the point that when they are reached, I still look over the edge to see what's beyond. I've seen and experienced many things that would freak the average person out… and I love that fact. Trust me, if you people saw some of the things I'm into, even just the kinds of pornography I like, or even worse, witnessed some of the sexual scenarios I've initiated in real life, particularly of the public humiliation or group domination sex kind, you would never again feel quite so embarrassed by your own desires ~laughs~ (and besides, come on… what the hell is there really to be embarassed about when you are on a domination phone sex call - you're on the phone you big baby. Open up, and then I will tell you what you should feel shame over ~laughs~… and if it's male humiliation that we are after, we'll put that embarassment in the context it belongs and get what we both want out of it).
 
I know that most people can't relate to that - they understandably avoid the distasteful and cannot fathom why someone would subject themselves to any contact with what makes them cringe. I don't see things quite the same way. The quality of one's life can be measured in the depth and variety of their experiences. Now, one might try to argue that, and say the quality and merit of those experiences is the true measure, and I agree with that totally… but such determination as to worth and worthiness of each experience is up to the given individual's opinion, not the judgment of others. Even the so called distasteful can have a worth in the eyes of those who walk different, darker paths ~grinz~ (and what better road could there be for a dark seductress).
 
Domination phone sex, in this way, provides ample opportunity to walk these paths. Sure it's not something being face-to-face done, but the paths walked in this case are those of the mind… and in human sexuality, the physical comes second to the mental. If the people involved in the call let themselves go, there is no telling where the mix of imagination and sexual fetish will take them.
 
You'd be surprised how much of themselves someone shares in a BDSM dungeon when they are nude and in chains. They say you see the "truth" of a person when they become truly vulnerable and are pushed to the extreme. I have seen it, and it’s true.
 
Domination phone sex creates an interesting condition within this. While not truly pushed to the extreme or for that matter fully vulnerable - especially since the phone itself creates a wall one can hide behind - the sense of safety and distance at times makes people open up even more… blending aspects of the "openness" submission brings, with the comfortable feel of the phone. Of course this isn't in the same way a true female domination session can break someone down, but it does drop inhibitions faster, and provides a possible step towards sexual liberation that is more easily taken.
 
So there is much positive to be found within domination phone sex for those truly interested in BDSM. Even from the lifestyle viewpoint there is plenty to be enjoyed and even learned from this different approach to the same basic concepts. When I first got involved with it I thought much the same as any professional dominatrix would - it seemed laughable in a way, and cheap when compared to the real thing. But instead, as I've stated, I've found it to be worthwhile, possessing merits of its own.

Domina Amanda

Femdom Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XL - Female Domination

"Nice is the way of the weak, the slave… not the strong…

The Dark Seductress has no time for coddling and encouraging words.

Only uncompromising domination phone sex with a devious dominatrix - Male Humiliation"

"The dark seductress awaits you…

…will you crawl to this beautiful, dominatrix and offer yourself to her…

or be dragged in bondage before her to feel her whip? - Female Domination"

So where does domination phone sex fit in here?
 
First off… as you may have noticed, I don't really like to call it simply "Phone Sex". Yes, that is the proper, generic expression, and maybe I'm being overly critical in a way, but to me "Phone Sex" brings to mind the common expectations of a writhing woman fucking or sucking or whatever. That's not me or what I do. I prefer to call this what it really is - Domination Phone Sex, or Femdom Phone Sex, or… you get the idea. One might say I'm being picky but actually I'm just being clear in both my descriptions and intentions.
 
Much of what I talk about on the phone I have done in some way in real life, which is the main reason why I got involved with domination phone sex in the first place - it's a reflection of my actual tendencies and a further way for me to enjoy them. I can't say that the conversations I have always revolve around scenarios I personally would have thought up, but even those that are truly warped can still be fun because I have a twisted sense of humor and deeply enjoy perversion. That's why I shock many I speak to (though the shock is a welcome one ~grinz~). It's not just that I have a high tolerance for depravity, but it's also that I can speak about things to a degree and depth most can't. The reason - because much of what I talk about I really have done face-to-face with other people. My experiences are founded in actual life events, not my imagination… particularly when it comes to female domination sex and BDSM in general.
 
All of the phone calls I do, I hope to enjoy (or at the very least be amused by) and what I do in them stays true to my personality. Some are scenarios I would already do in real life (and often already have), or things I might try if the chance presented itself. Others are things that might be unrealistic or impossible, but here domination phone sex shows its worth in another way - you can let your inhibitions go, and just explore and enjoy in ways you really couldn't otherwise.
 
Sure there are also fantasies that can be pretty twisted ~laughs~ but those are usually just so crazy that I get a rush off the near sexual insanity of them, and so they are worth it in another way. I like a lot of things, and I am damn open minded… and I don't see extremes so much as limits, but as a dangerous and exciting edge to balance on.
 
What I don't get involved with are calls that are in conflict with who I am, or require me to engage in behaviors or roles that insult my integrity as a woman. It's called domination phone sex for a reason… the title should give most a clue as to what is planned. For example, I don't take "fuck and suck" calls - if a guy wants me to suck his dick, it ain't gonna happen. He gets sent back to the dispatcher. Nothing wrong with what he wants, it's just not what I do. Same holds true for anything underage, regardless of who is in the dominant position, along with any scenarios that place me in the role of victim. It's called domination phone sex because it's about female domination of the submission seeking caller… and I am the female doing the dominating. (continued…)

Domina Amanda

Femdom Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXIX - Female Domination Sex

"You will learn what true submission is…

under the stiletto heeled leather boot of a lifestyle dominatrix…

who will thoroughly use you - Femdom Phone Sex"

"The delightfully sensual meets the dangerously beautiful… 

Mistress Alexis and Domina Amanda…

2 Dominatrix Cock Radio Show… Dual Female Domination Phone Sex - Devilish Tease"

(Continuing…) So how can I mock what many BDSM groups do in terms of definitions and practices, if I agree one has to learn before doing?
 
Because even though such groups can serve a valid purpose, what many of these enclaves proclaim is often in direct contradiction with the words they throw around. They have so sold out the notion of domination and submission, that what is left is a cheap mockery deserving of only contempt.
 
In the end, for the true dominant, the primary importance is being honest and true to yourself - to the natural drive for domination - fulfillment is found in being what you are and fully embracing the glory of it… not winning a femdom merit badge of approval in what for many is really nothing more than some sexual gaming society or whatever.
 
The true dominant is motivated by instinct to fulfill her nature, and has no desire to see this hampered by contradictory protocols or training programs that insult her dignity (as if you can train someone to be dominant, please).
 
Does that mean she should do whatever she wants, regardless of others?
 
To a sane and responsible extent, yes ~laughs~, but as you can see in my phrasing, there are obvious limits even within that affirmative. What tempers the behavior of the dominant more than anything is self-control - this is her greatest guide. The first natural step in any situation is to gain control of yourself within it, before seeking to control another. If you can't dominate yourself - your own behaviors and fears… how can you expect to dominate another person in any true and effective way? Self-mastery is the path to true mastery and female domination… not some handbook written by a subbie wanting to define domination to fit his slave desires.
 
Common sense rules and expectations, like Safe, Sane, Consensual, exist for very valid reasons. These things stand out to help guard against stupidity and ignorance, but they are blanket concepts in their approach, and appropriate in how they seek to influence because they exist to present universally accepted ideas for the benefit of all. But reality is, they are really little more than disclaimers and hopes.
 
The second great thing that temper's the behavior of the dominant is her own self-respect. You don't lower yourself in any way… that includes behavior that will shame you. Doing what you want it fine, within the limits one's dignity presents. You don't "break your toys"… only a child or inept fool does such a thing. Slave or not, you don't ruin what you claim to own… doing such a thing reflects on the owner directly - on her dignity and her quality. If you can't take care of your property and handle it well, including punish it effectively without damage, then what does that say about everything else in your life… what does that say about how you handle yourself?
 
Self-control… self-mastery… self-respect.
 
If someone doesn't care about these things… they sure as hell aren't going to give a damn about whatever external "rules" some BDSM group comes up with. Think about that. The only way any rule gets followed is if the person possesses and values the things I have stated… and in the case of the female dominant who does, she doesn't need rules… she will police herself just fine. Rules often exist because people are worried about those who may do bad things, and they want to be able to point at a piece of paper and say "see, you can't do that, it says so and you knew it, now leave"… or because they want to cover their own asses.
 
If you are truly dominant, you don't need a guidebook to being a "good little domme". That's just stupid. Usually when you see such things, or these "you must be a submissive before you can be a dominant" mantras, they are written either by people who need help pretending… or it's just the typical attempt of the weak to create as many laws and rules as possible to limit and control the strong. Those who can't bind others to their will by force of their own will, create strength in a false form through written directives signed by "the group".
 
Am I saying all rules and principles set forward by a BDSM club are stupid?
 
No… before you start waving a whip around in some femdom scene, or trying to tie people up in suspension, you do need to learn about BDSM in practice and performance… you don't just pick something and set to it. But this learning doesn't have to happen in a way that contradicts the nature of the person seeking to learn. It didn't with me.
 
Now in what I write I speak primarily to the dominant, but when it comes to submissives, these "rules" can have more merit… not always in literal form, but they should give you things to think about if you are new. There is risk for both parties in any private femdom setting - there are plenty out there who like to try a violent reversal on female domination, so it's not just the slave that has to be wary. When it comes to BDSM, in no way am I saying one shouldn't read and consider… I'm saying consider, don't take literally and blindly. 
 
Nothing is more important than remaining true to your nature… for the sexual dominant the focus may be fully on sex and fetish… but for the true dominant, sexual domination is just a single path to the fulfillment of one's very nature. And nothing should ever contradict that.

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXVIII - BDSM Femdom

"Submission is the natural reaction to that which is more dominant than you…

While a stronger person might seek to merely defer to a more powerful will…

The slave seeks to submit to the strong, for it is here that he belongs…

And it is in submission to the dominatrix that the slave personality…

Learns to embrace the truth of who he is and what he should be - Female Domination"

"Thigh high leather boots… long leather gloves…

A tall, beautiful dominatrix, dressed exactly as fits her personality…

Ready to force you into submission… ready to make you her slave - Female Domination"

(continuing…) In my last post I may have given the impression that I think many of the protocols and practices followed by certain BDSM groups are ridiculous… if I did, then good because that is how I feel… but not in an irresponsible or selfish way (I don't feel all presented concepts are stupid, especially basic safety and sensibility). I'll explain more…
 
Do I encourage people who are interested in BDSM to take that first step and become involved in what so intrigues them - meaning both BDSM and the surrounding community?
 
Of course I do… with each passing year it becomes more clear to each of us that our lives don't last forever. It makes no sense to waste what time you get not doing what may make you happy.
 
But do I encourage these same people to immediately jump full into what it is that they think will make them happy?
 
Not at all.
 
As with most anything… you never "jump"… you look, listen, and take steps into things… steps turning into strides when your stance is more certain. Not only does "jumping" potentially get you hurt… you also learn a lot less when you rush head first into something… excepting perhaps a harsh lesson in what not to do, when you crash into a "wall" or worse.
 
It doesn't matter how dominant a person you think yourself to naturally be, you don't know everything. Taking things slow and learning isn't an act of submission… it's deference to those more experienced, and it's directly in line with the dominant mentality - strive to become more - in this case by learning and becoming the best you can at what you've chosen to do, though self-control and intelligent approach.
 
The same holds true for the submissive and slave. As much as you may wish to throw yourself at someone… throw yourself at the wrong person, and instead of getting what you’ve always dreamed of, you might end up ruining the fantasy you so long imagined.
 
Playing around with things on a basic level is one thing… but once you start going deeper into a fetish, particularly if it's one incorporating BDSM's sadomasochistic activities, you really do need to look before you leap, and understand before you attempt. People get too easily hurt otherwise, emotionally if not physically… and while abuse of a form is what is often being sought, there are two different kinds being spoken of here. Everything has a line, and one can only learn how to keep within that if they first take the time to learn. This is particularly so with sadism and masochism, because the skill is in riding that line… moving around within its bounds in response to the moment, but keeping control of the situation so as to exploit it but not ruin it (for the sadist that is…. for the masochist it's finding someone responsible who is capable of doing such, so you can let yourself go under their control and allow them to take you where you both want to go).
 
If the point was to just go around getting cheap thrills out of hurting people, I suppose I never would have grown up. I would have instead just stayed the mean little bully girl I was as a kid. Instead… I went through puberty like everyone else ~laughs~ and started to find ways to enjoy myself far better than just making boys cry… now I get that out of men, but in far more "skillful" ways ~grinz evil~.
 
In my own case… I didn't rush into BDSM at all. When I was young I just naturally started doing basic things in my own relationships… things that fit my personality and my inclinations, both sexual and in general. But as I started getting deeper into the actual BDSM scene, I met up with an exceptional young lady of great experience that I become very close to (more here My Early Days of BDSM). A dominatrix herself, and some years older than me - I had the opportunity to learn and to refine my natural talents as an apprentice to her, developing my knowledge through direct participation and observance in her femdom sessions (though never through submission). She believes much the same way as I do about things, particularly about female domination, nature and place… I suppose that is why we got along so well, both in and out of bed. (Continued…)

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXVII - BDSM Dominatrix

"Yes, stupid… she's cheating on you…

and yes, you know why… it's because your small penis is such a bad joke…

Do you blame her? No one wants to fuck you, there is nothing worth having there…

People only want to use you and laugh at you - Cuckold Slave"