"My life and experiences in BDSM and female domination…

has left me with so many very interesting femdom stories to tell…

Stories of bondage, sadism, sexual humiliation, and domination sex - CFNM Femdom"

As I was saying, the biggest difficulty in writing something "about" yourself in this context, is that people make the error of assuming that if you mention a sexual fetish directly, that must mean that you are "totally into" that one thing, along with all it encompasses in whatever way the given reader personally views the topic… and that if you don't mention some other fetish directly, then that must mean you "hate it and want nothing to do with it". Both extremes are ridiculous assumptions that disregard how complex human beings and their personal motivations are. The same holds true with one's style regarding a fetish, and how people assume you must "always" proceed (I think that due to the medium, these assumptions get even more narrow with female domination phone sex).
 
As I said months ago, it's impossible for anyone to fully define themselves - all they are, and all they do. And in the attempt to make any sort of personal presentation, the standard dilemma arises - the less you write the more things can be assumed… while the more you write, the more new questions and assumptions are raised even as you answer the prior existing ones. It would be fine if the assumptions follow the right direction, but usually assumptions are influenced as much by the readers own desires as they are the writer's actual thoughts, if not even more so. So the best one can do is to speak honestly, giving the reader a clue as to the personality behind the writer, and from there open the door to future discussion with those who may be like-minded or at least intrigued.
 
What I have set out to do more than anything here, is demonstrate my own confidence in speaking about myself, and my pride in who I am - a lifestyle and professional dominatrix deeply interested and involved in femdom BDSM. Everyone has something to hide, but when it comes to my personality and lifestyle I don’t feel I have anything to be ashamed of. Like everyone I have made mistakes, but I don't look at those things with embarrassment, I instead see them as a vital part of a process of learning that has developed me into the person I am today. And when it comes to my sexual practices and outlook on life in general, I don't believe I should feel any guilt over enjoying myself, so long as my behaviors are responsible and safe, which they always are… so why not speak of them with pride.
 
Many of you that are reading this are obviously doing so to get a feel for the type of person I am - and that is exactly the point. Specific questions you may have are always better discussed than left to answers assumed. That being true, I will allow anyone who has read this to contact me if there is something they are wondering about, particularly if they are interested in calling me for female domination phone sex sessions, but are somehow unsure about our compatibility. This is perfectly reasonable and I would much rather that, than have confusion rob someone of the chance to entertain me ~grinz~.
 
When I started writing the "About Me" essays, I had intended to do about a dozen and change… but I also intended to just write whatever came to mind and let things run from there… literally letting the essays write themselves, allowing one to open the door to the next. While I plan to continue to write openly about myself and my opinions, I don't plan on titling any more essays with the ubiquitous "About Me". It suited a purpose, but when you have forty essays with that as part of the tile, it gets a bit clumsy and awkward for search engines and general titling.
 
So this essay you are reading now is going to stand as something of a conclusion, not to me writing about myself, but me organizing future essays in such a way.
 
I have many more things written or started already… a series of pieces on chastity for example, along with a number of femdom stories. Some of these stories also have to do with chastity, but others are expansions on things I've mentioned in the past. Avid readers will remember many a passage where I told a brief summary of some event in my life, and said someday I would expand on it in greater detail… well, it's those femdom stories of forced strapon training, extreme bondage, small penis humiliation, female domination sex and lots more, that I will be getting around to now. Also, of course, more of my recent experiences with callers during domination phone sex sessions… since you bastards are so damn entertaining ~laughs~.
 

Terminus Est…

Domina Amanda

Tease and Denial Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

"The Dark Seductress of bondage and female domination…

Addiction… obsession… she is the dangerously beautiful Demoness…

It's no surprise so many crawl to her… and her attention is in such high demand - Domina Amanda"

"I am a dominant female… a lifestyle dominatrix…

and it is that dominance that is the constant in all things for me…

My sexual choices don't define who I am… who I am directs my sexual choices - Female Domination"

Throughout all of the essays I've written here, particularly those contributing to the "About Domina Amanda" series, I've talked greatly about myself, my views on life and female domination, and my sexual interests and activity within both the greater BDSM community and domination phone sex.
 
I've intentionally avoided the common practice of actually listing and categorizing all of the different sexual activities I enjoy in a single promotional essay. I've been involved in BDSM so deeply since I was too young to say, that my interests are far too varied for that. Simply running off titles of things you like, never really gives a clear view into how or why you do. Besides, attempts at fully listing things fetish by fetish comes off weird to me. It ends up looking more like a menu or checklist, and never fully does justice to the person's true sexuality.
 
Commonly, domination phone sex operators work within the confines of a set character type - they have specific things they do, in a specific way. This makes things simple - you want that, you go here - done. You can look at each one and say "she is this, she does that and it's done this way" - things boxed up nice and simple so you know what you are going to get.
 
That's not the case with me, nor is it with most human beings.
 
While I have tried to give an impression as to who I am and what to expect if you contact me… I've written as much as I have here to make it clear that I am not a single fetish and form. I am a lifestyle dominatrix… not just someone involved professionally in a scene with "dominatrix" being a title of profession, but someone whose lifestyle is in many ways best summed up by that same word - a strong female possessing a dominant personality and all of the natural superiority of her sex. While I do own slaves, do wear fetish clothing, do enjoy bondage and sadism, my sexual practices don’t define who I am… who I am directs my sexual choices, along with all other choices I make in life.
 
My involvement in female domination, BDSM, male sexual humiliation, domination phone sex, and everything related that you can think of runs much deeper than occupation or advertisement… or for that matter, hobby. As a result, my sexual interests are greatly varied as is my approach to them, but also, the level of experience I have in them means that how I choose to enjoy myself greatly varies with each situation and person.
 
No human being likes to do things the same way every time. Sure we all have general preferences that remain a constant, but some days we like our food hot and spicy… while other days we may like it a little more tame, yet still rich and flavorful. That's one of the things I always find interesting about people approaching a dominatrix… like I said earlier, they think you are some sort of one-dimensional creature… an assumption that doesn't really fit the "female superiority" that the same people so hope for when they cry submission ~laughs~.
 
Example - while I do very much like heavier, physical forms of female domination and BDSM, I also like more subtle femdom forms, even gentle methods of control and manipulation. I am a dominant female, and it is that dominance that is the constant in all things for me. How it is exhibited varies greatly in response to the situation and my mood, but since it's a fundamental part of my personality, it influences all that I am and directs the course I take in whatever I do and enjoy. I don't put limits on the possibilities after that, so long as they are consistent with who I am and what I believe. What matters is my enjoyment, my getting what I want, and there are many ways this can happen… just as there are many ways I can enforce my superiority over others. Female domination isn't a "style" or "role", it's the condition of having power over others… and the true dominant knows many paths towards this goal. (continued)  
 

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XLI - Domina Amanda
 

"Men like to deny the natural superiority of the female…

and try to claim that male domination is the rule, and female domination the exception…

and yet the instant a cock gets hard… all of these claims fail before reality - Tease and Denial"

"What made you think I was here to fulfill your needs?

Oh, no ~laughs~… your needs mean nothing to me… you're here to fulfill my wants…

and right now I want to see how sore those balls can get - Orgasm Denial"

Continuing from Thoughts on Tease and Denial
 
Orgasm denial, as mentioned before, is quite similar to tease and denial in basic form, excepting that, as the name and emphasis suggests, its tone can be more harsh and its conclusion even more certain (unless the subject doesn't know what's in store for him), and it can also be a much longer termed condition. It's usually sought by those who desire this conclusion, wanting and enjoying the resulting sexual frustration and feelings of submission / masochism that occur. This causes the tease to usually have a more cruel undertone to it, not just when its actively harsh and nasty, but even when its outwardly soft and sensual.
 
As a form of sexual play, orgasm denial is often carried out over numerous sessions (or as a semi-constant state), each building on top of the other in a sort of taunting, teasing chastity that can impose a brutally harsh form of sexual frustration on the submissive.
 
Chastity routines and devices are sometimes employed in compliment to long term orgasm denial, completely removing the possibility of direct genital stimulation. From there the dominant woman can choose to refrain from any form of tease at all, taking denial to an absolute form in that the sexuality of the submissive is denied entirely… or she can tease the subject in other ways - verbal, visual, other non-genital physical, etc.
 
In the case of the dominant woman who completely ignores the sexuality of her subject, locking away his genitalia, the submissive is made to experience a kind of objectification and dehumanization through that effective removal of his sexuality - an intrinsic part of one's humanity - which naturally causes his submission to more heavily upon him. Orgasm isn't simply denied, it's no longer a consideration. He becomes a sexual non-entity… something less than a man and thus more the slave.
 
She who chooses alternate forms of teasing while having the submissive locked in chastity, can impose an even more excruciating style of Tease and Denial by combining the tease effect with the physical removal of possible genital contact. Rejection isn't just something anticipated now, with fulfillment in orgasm still being hoped for… application of a chastity device can effectively kill hopes, causing tease to be seen and felt even more as torture.
 
As a lifestyle dominatrix, who deeply enjoys my sexuality and my natural tendencies towards female domination in all situations, particularly sexual ones… I think it only obvious why Tease and Denial, and for that matter Orgasm Denial, would hold such an appeal to me.
 
How do I commonly partake in these forms of orgasm control? That really depends on the person and my mood at the time. I am very focused in my actions, intending to get as much personal enjoyment as possible out of what I do and who I do it to ~grinz~. I often mix very strict and focused, with darkly seductive - intense teasing with a nasty erotic edge. Sometimes sadistic, sometimes almost affectionate, sometimes coldly nothing at all… but everything played to manipulate my victim and further my control over him. My fetish for chastity and related devices only gives me more options in the course I choose to take, and my past experience in key holding only makes it all the easier for me to tighten my fist around the sexuality of my captive.
 
In the end, Tease and Denial is a part of all my femdom activities to some degree… simply because it's so easily and obviously is a part of all female domination / submission equations that involve sexuality. Domination is all about control, and the manipulation of another's sexuality is an excellent means to acheiving this. Actual Orgasm Denial as the primary intention, in terms of fetish or style of play, isn't always the focus of what I do, but the play of frustration and fulfillment is a beautifully powerful tool that is greatly enjoyed by any lifestyle dominatrix who has happily embraced the sadism within ~laughs~.
 

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phoen Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

"Why do they say I'm a Dark Seductress?

Maybe it's because I know how to use my beautiful young body…

and my perverse mind… to torture and contol any man I choose - Tease and Denial"

"I'm going to play with you until you squirm and beg…

and then I'm going to keep right on doing it until you gasp and cry - it's too much…

and then… well, we'll just have to see what I do then - Tease and Denial"

Do these words sound good to you… tease and denial? They do to me ~grinz~.
 
The word tease, in this context, essentially means behavior intending to arouse sexual desire in another person, hinting at the possibility of satisfaction and building up hopes for such, but ultimately not fulfilling what is suggested… resulting in frustration and disappointment in the one being teased.
 
When used to describe someone - a "tease" is a person, usually female, who intentionally preys on the sexual desires of another, manipulating this as a means of influencing that person. While the "tease" is the one being pursued or performing, she is also the one in control, since the desires she invokes can easily be used as a tool for domination. The more intense the arousal, the greater the hope for fulfillment… leading to the other's desperation becoming more intense, and with this, the greater her control.
 
Denial, in blunt terms, is the refusal to allow something that is desired. In this context, sexual fulfillment of some form, ranging from the most basic forms of attention and approval, all the way to orgasm itself.
 
When used in relation to the sexual act, denial is the refusal of one person to fulfill the sexual arousal of another. Just as the word itself is blunt in its meaning, so too is denial in the sexual sense, especially when its comes to orgasm denial (this form of play usually having a prelude of some kind of sexual act that builds the strong need for orgasm over time, only to be shut down repeatedly in rejection).
 
When brought together, tease and denial is form of sexual play focused on the manipulation of another person with the intent to cause intense stimulation but without the promise of orgasm. Instead, the goal is to "edge" - keeping the subject on the edge of orgasm without actually going over into climax. This leaves the person in a heightened state of arousal and excitement, but mixed with a growing frustration and helplessness as the effect of the "edging" denial builds. In the end, release may be allowed, but just as often is not.
 
The result is a clear power exchange, putting the "tease" in the position of domination, while the one facing denial is put into a position of submission to the control of the person determining his sexual fate. When performed over time, through multiple sessions, the impact of this control device becomes all the stronger, and with it, the domination of the "tease" over the denied submissive. Skillful manipulation of arousal, hope and frustration by the dominant woman further deepens the subject's degree of submission and recognition of it.
 
Tease and denial doesn't always have to end in orgasm denial (which is itself the title of a form of sexual play whose conclusion is more certain). While the name suggests this to be the expected result, orgasm is sometimes allowed either in its ruined form, or as a surprise ending.
 
Unexpected fulfillment is actually a means to achieve greater control over the subject. If the ending is always certain, then the conclusion is always anticipated. But if orgasm is occasionally allowed, especially when the desperate hope for release has been greatly built up, while the person still doubts it will happen due to past experience… then the impact and appreciation of the reward will be magnified, and with it the control over the person by the "tease". Also, skillful and prolonged teasing just prior to allowed fulfillment usually leads to a much stronger orgasm than normal… not just in terms of the psychological relief, but actual physical enjoyment due to the built up intensity and volume of fluid released.
 
A ruined orgasm is a more devious form of disappointment which can cause even greater sexual frustration than tease and denial. In a ruined orgasm, the subject is led to believe that the hoped for ejaculation is going to be allowed, right up to the point of the climax actually beginning… and then sexual stimulation is abruptly and completely withdrawn at that very moment, resulting in the first seconds of the orgasm being as good as expected, but then it dying quickly from lack of attention. Thus, the orgasm is ruined, with only a fraction of the anticipated enjoyment being had, which makes the disappointment and resulting sexual frustration all the worse (to say the least of physical discomfort).
 
Continued in - Thoughts on Orgasm Denial
 
Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

"It's time for some very strict and demanding orgasm control…

I see no reason to let you cum… and after all, this isn't about what you want…

it's only about what I enjoy… and right now, I like seeing you suffer - Orgasm Denial"

"There is no better way to put a male slave in his place…

than a vicious dominatrix with a thick strapon cock who demands submission.

 Intense domination sex, with the female in total control - Femdom Phone Sex"

(continuing…) Do I ever encounter domination phone sex calls that present fetish fantasies even my stomach has difficulty tolerating?
 
Hell, yeah ~laughs~, it would be an easily recognizable crock of bullshit if I said otherwise. No one can like everything… but in my case, that doesn't mean I don't try to find some degree of enjoyment or even fun in such phone calls anyway… even if it's something I probably wouldn't do face-to-face. It's not that I give in to what the caller wants, or for that matter "fake it" - if it's that distasteful I won't go through with it. But just because I might not do something in "real life" doesn't mean it can't be enjoyed in the fantasy sense that femdom phone sex provides. So yeah, even the truly twisted have something to share ~laughs~. There are plenty of dark fantasies we all have had, desires that we probably would not want to really do for whatever reasons of morality, legality, taste, whatever. But that doesn't mean we can't imagine them… and the phone allows for types of BDSM, male humiliation and domination sex that fall into this category to still be shared and enjoyed with another person.
 
I've tried to be very clear throughout everything I've written here that I like the different, the extreme, and even the absurdly bizarre… so long as the line isn't crossed into what I decide is truly intolerable. I like to push my limits, sometimes even to the point that when they are reached, I still look over the edge to see what's beyond. I've seen and experienced many things that would freak the average person out… and I love that fact. Trust me, if you people saw some of the things I'm into, even just the kinds of pornography I like, or even worse, witnessed some of the sexual scenarios I've initiated in real life, particularly of the public humiliation or group domination sex kind, you would never again feel quite so embarrassed by your own desires ~laughs~ (and besides, come on… what the hell is there really to be embarassed about when you are on a domination phone sex call - you're on the phone you big baby. Open up, and then I will tell you what you should feel shame over ~laughs~… and if it's male humiliation that we are after, we'll put that embarassment in the context it belongs and get what we both want out of it).
 
I know that most people can't relate to that - they understandably avoid the distasteful and cannot fathom why someone would subject themselves to any contact with what makes them cringe. I don't see things quite the same way. The quality of one's life can be measured in the depth and variety of their experiences. Now, one might try to argue that, and say the quality and merit of those experiences is the true measure, and I agree with that totally… but such determination as to worth and worthiness of each experience is up to the given individual's opinion, not the judgment of others. Even the so called distasteful can have a worth in the eyes of those who walk different, darker paths ~grinz~ (and what better road could there be for a dark seductress).
 
Domination phone sex, in this way, provides ample opportunity to walk these paths. Sure it's not something being face-to-face done, but the paths walked in this case are those of the mind… and in human sexuality, the physical comes second to the mental. If the people involved in the call let themselves go, there is no telling where the mix of imagination and sexual fetish will take them.
 
You'd be surprised how much of themselves someone shares in a BDSM dungeon when they are nude and in chains. They say you see the "truth" of a person when they become truly vulnerable and are pushed to the extreme. I have seen it, and it’s true.
 
Domination phone sex creates an interesting condition within this. While not truly pushed to the extreme or for that matter fully vulnerable - especially since the phone itself creates a wall one can hide behind - the sense of safety and distance at times makes people open up even more… blending aspects of the "openness" submission brings, with the comfortable feel of the phone. Of course this isn't in the same way a true female domination session can break someone down, but it does drop inhibitions faster, and provides a possible step towards sexual liberation that is more easily taken.
 
So there is much positive to be found within domination phone sex for those truly interested in BDSM. Even from the lifestyle viewpoint there is plenty to be enjoyed and even learned from this different approach to the same basic concepts. When I first got involved with it I thought much the same as any professional dominatrix would - it seemed laughable in a way, and cheap when compared to the real thing. But instead, as I've stated, I've found it to be worthwhile, possessing merits of its own.

Domina Amanda

Femdom Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XL - Female Domination

"Nice is the way of the weak, the slave… not the strong…

The Dark Seductress has no time for coddling and encouraging words.

Only uncompromising domination phone sex with a devious dominatrix - Male Humiliation"

"The dark seductress awaits you…

…will you crawl to this beautiful, dominatrix and offer yourself to her…

or be dragged in bondage before her to feel her whip? - Female Domination"

So where does domination phone sex fit in here?
 
First off… as you may have noticed, I don't really like to call it simply "Phone Sex". Yes, that is the proper, generic expression, and maybe I'm being overly critical in a way, but to me "Phone Sex" brings to mind the common expectations of a writhing woman fucking or sucking or whatever. That's not me or what I do. I prefer to call this what it really is - Domination Phone Sex, or Femdom Phone Sex, or… you get the idea. One might say I'm being picky but actually I'm just being clear in both my descriptions and intentions.
 
Much of what I talk about on the phone I have done in some way in real life, which is the main reason why I got involved with domination phone sex in the first place - it's a reflection of my actual tendencies and a further way for me to enjoy them. I can't say that the conversations I have always revolve around scenarios I personally would have thought up, but even those that are truly warped can still be fun because I have a twisted sense of humor and deeply enjoy perversion. That's why I shock many I speak to (though the shock is a welcome one ~grinz~). It's not just that I have a high tolerance for depravity, but it's also that I can speak about things to a degree and depth most can't. The reason - because much of what I talk about I really have done face-to-face with other people. My experiences are founded in actual life events, not my imagination… particularly when it comes to female domination sex and BDSM in general.
 
All of the phone calls I do, I hope to enjoy (or at the very least be amused by) and what I do in them stays true to my personality. Some are scenarios I would already do in real life (and often already have), or things I might try if the chance presented itself. Others are things that might be unrealistic or impossible, but here domination phone sex shows its worth in another way - you can let your inhibitions go, and just explore and enjoy in ways you really couldn't otherwise.
 
Sure there are also fantasies that can be pretty twisted ~laughs~ but those are usually just so crazy that I get a rush off the near sexual insanity of them, and so they are worth it in another way. I like a lot of things, and I am damn open minded… and I don't see extremes so much as limits, but as a dangerous and exciting edge to balance on.
 
What I don't get involved with are calls that are in conflict with who I am, or require me to engage in behaviors or roles that insult my integrity as a woman. It's called domination phone sex for a reason… the title should give most a clue as to what is planned. For example, I don't take "fuck and suck" calls - if a guy wants me to suck his dick, it ain't gonna happen. He gets sent back to the dispatcher. Nothing wrong with what he wants, it's just not what I do. Same holds true for anything underage, regardless of who is in the dominant position, along with any scenarios that place me in the role of victim. It's called domination phone sex because it's about female domination of the submission seeking caller… and I am the female doing the dominating. (continued…)

Domina Amanda

Femdom Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXIX - Female Domination Sex

"You will learn what true submission is…

under the stiletto heeled leather boot of a lifestyle dominatrix…

who will thoroughly use you - Femdom Phone Sex"

"The delightfully sensual meets the dangerously beautiful… 

Mistress Alexis and Domina Amanda…

2 Dominatrix Cock Radio Show… Dual Female Domination Phone Sex - Devilish Tease"

(Continuing…) So how can I mock what many BDSM groups do in terms of definitions and practices, if I agree one has to learn before doing?
 
Because even though such groups can serve a valid purpose, what many of these enclaves proclaim is often in direct contradiction with the words they throw around. They have so sold out the notion of domination and submission, that what is left is a cheap mockery deserving of only contempt.
 
In the end, for the true dominant, the primary importance is being honest and true to yourself - to the natural drive for domination - fulfillment is found in being what you are and fully embracing the glory of it… not winning a femdom merit badge of approval in what for many is really nothing more than some sexual gaming society or whatever.
 
The true dominant is motivated by instinct to fulfill her nature, and has no desire to see this hampered by contradictory protocols or training programs that insult her dignity (as if you can train someone to be dominant, please).
 
Does that mean she should do whatever she wants, regardless of others?
 
To a sane and responsible extent, yes ~laughs~, but as you can see in my phrasing, there are obvious limits even within that affirmative. What tempers the behavior of the dominant more than anything is self-control - this is her greatest guide. The first natural step in any situation is to gain control of yourself within it, before seeking to control another. If you can't dominate yourself - your own behaviors and fears… how can you expect to dominate another person in any true and effective way? Self-mastery is the path to true mastery and female domination… not some handbook written by a subbie wanting to define domination to fit his slave desires.
 
Common sense rules and expectations, like Safe, Sane, Consensual, exist for very valid reasons. These things stand out to help guard against stupidity and ignorance, but they are blanket concepts in their approach, and appropriate in how they seek to influence because they exist to present universally accepted ideas for the benefit of all. But reality is, they are really little more than disclaimers and hopes.
 
The second great thing that temper's the behavior of the dominant is her own self-respect. You don't lower yourself in any way… that includes behavior that will shame you. Doing what you want it fine, within the limits one's dignity presents. You don't "break your toys"… only a child or inept fool does such a thing. Slave or not, you don't ruin what you claim to own… doing such a thing reflects on the owner directly - on her dignity and her quality. If you can't take care of your property and handle it well, including punish it effectively without damage, then what does that say about everything else in your life… what does that say about how you handle yourself?
 
Self-control… self-mastery… self-respect.
 
If someone doesn't care about these things… they sure as hell aren't going to give a damn about whatever external "rules" some BDSM group comes up with. Think about that. The only way any rule gets followed is if the person possesses and values the things I have stated… and in the case of the female dominant who does, she doesn't need rules… she will police herself just fine. Rules often exist because people are worried about those who may do bad things, and they want to be able to point at a piece of paper and say "see, you can't do that, it says so and you knew it, now leave"… or because they want to cover their own asses.
 
If you are truly dominant, you don't need a guidebook to being a "good little domme". That's just stupid. Usually when you see such things, or these "you must be a submissive before you can be a dominant" mantras, they are written either by people who need help pretending… or it's just the typical attempt of the weak to create as many laws and rules as possible to limit and control the strong. Those who can't bind others to their will by force of their own will, create strength in a false form through written directives signed by "the group".
 
Am I saying all rules and principles set forward by a BDSM club are stupid?
 
No… before you start waving a whip around in some femdom scene, or trying to tie people up in suspension, you do need to learn about BDSM in practice and performance… you don't just pick something and set to it. But this learning doesn't have to happen in a way that contradicts the nature of the person seeking to learn. It didn't with me.
 
Now in what I write I speak primarily to the dominant, but when it comes to submissives, these "rules" can have more merit… not always in literal form, but they should give you things to think about if you are new. There is risk for both parties in any private femdom setting - there are plenty out there who like to try a violent reversal on female domination, so it's not just the slave that has to be wary. When it comes to BDSM, in no way am I saying one shouldn't read and consider… I'm saying consider, don't take literally and blindly. 
 
Nothing is more important than remaining true to your nature… for the sexual dominant the focus may be fully on sex and fetish… but for the true dominant, sexual domination is just a single path to the fulfillment of one's very nature. And nothing should ever contradict that.

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXVIII - BDSM Femdom

"Submission is the natural reaction to that which is more dominant than you…

While a stronger person might seek to merely defer to a more powerful will…

The slave seeks to submit to the strong, for it is here that he belongs…

And it is in submission to the dominatrix that the slave personality…

Learns to embrace the truth of who he is and what he should be - Female Domination"

"Thigh high leather boots… long leather gloves…

A tall, beautiful dominatrix, dressed exactly as fits her personality…

Ready to force you into submission… ready to make you her slave - Female Domination"

(continuing…) In my last post I may have given the impression that I think many of the protocols and practices followed by certain BDSM groups are ridiculous… if I did, then good because that is how I feel… but not in an irresponsible or selfish way (I don't feel all presented concepts are stupid, especially basic safety and sensibility). I'll explain more…
 
Do I encourage people who are interested in BDSM to take that first step and become involved in what so intrigues them - meaning both BDSM and the surrounding community?
 
Of course I do… with each passing year it becomes more clear to each of us that our lives don't last forever. It makes no sense to waste what time you get not doing what may make you happy.
 
But do I encourage these same people to immediately jump full into what it is that they think will make them happy?
 
Not at all.
 
As with most anything… you never "jump"… you look, listen, and take steps into things… steps turning into strides when your stance is more certain. Not only does "jumping" potentially get you hurt… you also learn a lot less when you rush head first into something… excepting perhaps a harsh lesson in what not to do, when you crash into a "wall" or worse.
 
It doesn't matter how dominant a person you think yourself to naturally be, you don't know everything. Taking things slow and learning isn't an act of submission… it's deference to those more experienced, and it's directly in line with the dominant mentality - strive to become more - in this case by learning and becoming the best you can at what you've chosen to do, though self-control and intelligent approach.
 
The same holds true for the submissive and slave. As much as you may wish to throw yourself at someone… throw yourself at the wrong person, and instead of getting what you’ve always dreamed of, you might end up ruining the fantasy you so long imagined.
 
Playing around with things on a basic level is one thing… but once you start going deeper into a fetish, particularly if it's one incorporating BDSM's sadomasochistic activities, you really do need to look before you leap, and understand before you attempt. People get too easily hurt otherwise, emotionally if not physically… and while abuse of a form is what is often being sought, there are two different kinds being spoken of here. Everything has a line, and one can only learn how to keep within that if they first take the time to learn. This is particularly so with sadism and masochism, because the skill is in riding that line… moving around within its bounds in response to the moment, but keeping control of the situation so as to exploit it but not ruin it (for the sadist that is…. for the masochist it's finding someone responsible who is capable of doing such, so you can let yourself go under their control and allow them to take you where you both want to go).
 
If the point was to just go around getting cheap thrills out of hurting people, I suppose I never would have grown up. I would have instead just stayed the mean little bully girl I was as a kid. Instead… I went through puberty like everyone else ~laughs~ and started to find ways to enjoy myself far better than just making boys cry… now I get that out of men, but in far more "skillful" ways ~grinz evil~.
 
In my own case… I didn't rush into BDSM at all. When I was young I just naturally started doing basic things in my own relationships… things that fit my personality and my inclinations, both sexual and in general. But as I started getting deeper into the actual BDSM scene, I met up with an exceptional young lady of great experience that I become very close to (more here My Early Days of BDSM). A dominatrix herself, and some years older than me - I had the opportunity to learn and to refine my natural talents as an apprentice to her, developing my knowledge through direct participation and observance in her femdom sessions (though never through submission). She believes much the same way as I do about things, particularly about female domination, nature and place… I suppose that is why we got along so well, both in and out of bed. (Continued…)

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXVII - BDSM Dominatrix

"Yes, stupid… she's cheating on you…

and yes, you know why… it's because your small penis is such a bad joke…

Do you blame her? No one wants to fuck you, there is nothing worth having there…

People only want to use you and laugh at you - Cuckold Slave"

"Whether it's a quick does of discipline, or a long femdom session…

I just get off on controlling men from all around the world…

There are those face to face… and those who call me - Female Domination Phone Sex"

As many kinks as there are which fall under the heading of BDSM, there are even more opinions on how things should be done and why they are… from the most basic technical, all the way up to deeply philosophical. Since there is no one sourcebook that all of this is based upon, individuals and groups within the BDSM community, go their own way… with some general agreement with regard to responsible behavior and overall tolerance, but everyone having their own overall "opinon".
 
Personally, I've found the sum of these opinions to be a mixed bag - some great, some okay for others, yet not for me, and some flat out stupid. This is particularly true when we come back to the paradox I've been talking of recently - there are many beliefs held by certain portions of the BDSM community that true dominant personalities not only would not agree with, but at times find flat out ridiculous. Sometimes I think the intentions are good ones, regardless of the results… but other times I am reminded of how the weak often attempt to empower themselves and their wants through some sort of legislation ~laughs~… trying to corral the strong to fit what is comfortable to for their inferiors by using mass agenda and oft point to declarations.
 
One concept that comes to mind right away is the notion that a "dominant" has to experience things first as a "submissive" to "know what it's like to be the bottom." I suppose that's all well and good if you are a fetish role-player, especially one into sadism and masochism - it makes sense that if you see the other side you can better relate to it and better understand limits/effects… so for those thinking that way, for that reason, no complaints from me because we aren't "into" this for quite the same motivations and your viewpoint fits your specific wants. But the "dominant" I am referring to - the true dominant personality - just has no interest in, or stomach for, the idea of submitting in any way. The idea isn't so much uncomfortable as it's more offensive, or just plain irrelevant, never coming to mind and being dismissed as a bad joke if suggested. And sexually… it's a heavy turn-off, bordering on repulsive. Like everything else, one's sexuality is linked directly to one's personality and fundamental nature. If female domination is your life path, submission to another person is a reversal in your life's growth… something not just wrong, but to be avoided since it isn't who you are (the BDSM player crowd confuses that because they arent talking about the same thing I am - they are focused on their sex play… fine for you, but not for all).
 
Some try to say things like - "if you are dominant than you should be strong enough to submit and handle being dominated by another"… but that just ends up being proof of the convoluted nonsense and double speak that feeds the paradox I've been speaking of… some sort of re-valuation of the greater idea of "dominant" to fit the wants of people who fall short of the word's deeper meaning. Why would I lower myself from what I am, when I am happy with the person I am, and happy existing within the truth of myself and my instincts.
 
The weak always try to empower their ideas by saying that if you don't do what they do, or agree with what they believe, you must somehow be afraid. I don’t like lima beans… but trust me, I don't have nightmares about them… they just aren't me… and I don't have to eat a bowl of them to re-convince myself of that, or prove myself to any dim witted nobody ~laughs~.
 
Personally, I have never had the urge to not be in control sexually. I've been in, shall we say, "neutral" positions - like when I have had sex with another dominant female - where the two of us enjoy one another on somewhat equal terms… but in those cases none of what domination and submission brings to mind is involved. It's just heavy, intense, lesbian sex - just imagine a pair of dominant women fucking each other hard and you've got the idea. But submission… dominant individuals like myself are not drawn to such things. And when it comes to men, all of my sexual urges are driven by domination alone. (Continued…)

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXVI - Lifestyle Dominatrix

"I love all kinds of BDSM play… but there's one that is simple in form…

and yet excellent in the results a skillful female can work up - Tease and Denial"