"The delightfully sensual meets the dangerously beautiful… 

Mistress Alexis and Domina Amanda…

2 Dominatrix Cock Radio Show… Dual Female Domination Phone Sex - Devilish Tease"

(Continuing…) So how can I mock what many BDSM groups do in terms of definitions and practices, if I agree one has to learn before doing?
 
Because even though such groups can serve a valid purpose, what many of these enclaves proclaim is often in direct contradiction with the words they throw around. They have so sold out the notion of domination and submission, that what is left is a cheap mockery deserving of only contempt.
 
In the end, for the true dominant, the primary importance is being honest and true to yourself - to the natural drive for domination - fulfillment is found in being what you are and fully embracing the glory of it… not winning a femdom merit badge of approval in what for many is really nothing more than some sexual gaming society or whatever.
 
The true dominant is motivated by instinct to fulfill her nature, and has no desire to see this hampered by contradictory protocols or training programs that insult her dignity (as if you can train someone to be dominant, please).
 
Does that mean she should do whatever she wants, regardless of others?
 
To a sane and responsible extent, yes ~laughs~, but as you can see in my phrasing, there are obvious limits even within that affirmative. What tempers the behavior of the dominant more than anything is self-control - this is her greatest guide. The first natural step in any situation is to gain control of yourself within it, before seeking to control another. If you can't dominate yourself - your own behaviors and fears… how can you expect to dominate another person in any true and effective way? Self-mastery is the path to true mastery and female domination… not some handbook written by a subbie wanting to define domination to fit his slave desires.
 
Common sense rules and expectations, like Safe, Sane, Consensual, exist for very valid reasons. These things stand out to help guard against stupidity and ignorance, but they are blanket concepts in their approach, and appropriate in how they seek to influence because they exist to present universally accepted ideas for the benefit of all. But reality is, they are really little more than disclaimers and hopes.
 
The second great thing that temper's the behavior of the dominant is her own self-respect. You don't lower yourself in any way… that includes behavior that will shame you. Doing what you want it fine, within the limits one's dignity presents. You don't "break your toys"… only a child or inept fool does such a thing. Slave or not, you don't ruin what you claim to own… doing such a thing reflects on the owner directly - on her dignity and her quality. If you can't take care of your property and handle it well, including punish it effectively without damage, then what does that say about everything else in your life… what does that say about how you handle yourself?
 
Self-control… self-mastery… self-respect.
 
If someone doesn't care about these things… they sure as hell aren't going to give a damn about whatever external "rules" some BDSM group comes up with. Think about that. The only way any rule gets followed is if the person possesses and values the things I have stated… and in the case of the female dominant who does, she doesn't need rules… she will police herself just fine. Rules often exist because people are worried about those who may do bad things, and they want to be able to point at a piece of paper and say "see, you can't do that, it says so and you knew it, now leave"… or because they want to cover their own asses.
 
If you are truly dominant, you don't need a guidebook to being a "good little domme". That's just stupid. Usually when you see such things, or these "you must be a submissive before you can be a dominant" mantras, they are written either by people who need help pretending… or it's just the typical attempt of the weak to create as many laws and rules as possible to limit and control the strong. Those who can't bind others to their will by force of their own will, create strength in a false form through written directives signed by "the group".
 
Am I saying all rules and principles set forward by a BDSM club are stupid?
 
No… before you start waving a whip around in some femdom scene, or trying to tie people up in suspension, you do need to learn about BDSM in practice and performance… you don't just pick something and set to it. But this learning doesn't have to happen in a way that contradicts the nature of the person seeking to learn. It didn't with me.
 
Now in what I write I speak primarily to the dominant, but when it comes to submissives, these "rules" can have more merit… not always in literal form, but they should give you things to think about if you are new. There is risk for both parties in any private femdom setting - there are plenty out there who like to try a violent reversal on female domination, so it's not just the slave that has to be wary. When it comes to BDSM, in no way am I saying one shouldn't read and consider… I'm saying consider, don't take literally and blindly. 
 
Nothing is more important than remaining true to your nature… for the sexual dominant the focus may be fully on sex and fetish… but for the true dominant, sexual domination is just a single path to the fulfillment of one's very nature. And nothing should ever contradict that.

Domina Amanda

Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
 

Continued in Part XXXVIII - BDSM Femdom

"Submission is the natural reaction to that which is more dominant than you…

While a stronger person might seek to merely defer to a more powerful will…

The slave seeks to submit to the strong, for it is here that he belongs…

And it is in submission to the dominatrix that the slave personality…

Learns to embrace the truth of who he is and what he should be - Female Domination"