"Submission means you're submitting to the will of another person…
Domination means that you're imposing your will on another person…
The two work in compliment to one another, but they're not the same thing…
And when people try to blur the lines, everyone ends up frustrated - Female Domination"
Now don't get me wrong… in what I've written in my last few "About Me" episodes, I'm not throwing scorn at everyone who just dabbles in BDSM. So long as people enjoy themselves in a responsible way, they've got no problem with me. For that matter, there are people who are strictly into sexual forms of domination who are quite exceptional and skilled at what they do, including some that are good friends of mine, and I don't criticize them at all. My issue is more with "fakes" who want to be seen as more than what they truly are… and those who play at the submissive or slave role but really want to do something that is called "bottom top".
It annoys me to see weak people walk around with attitude thinking they are "supremely dominant uber lifestylers" just because they've learned the basics of how to use a dopey flogger or know what "Shibari" means. People in the real world don't give a shit about any of that… and when you come into conflict with a true dominant personality in that real world, the truth you've been hiding yourself from on your little BDSM websites and in leather vest wearing enclaves is going to fall on your head. You love taking on a dominant role in sexual play… go for it, enjoy it and be the best you can at it… but don't delude yourself into thinking that role means you're dominant by nature and that "club" equates to a true "lifestyle". The first step in true dominance revolves around self-mastery - domination of the self - and the first step in that is total honesty with yourself.
As a dominant female it's insulting to see such fakes claim to be on my level. It's further insulting to see my personality type somehow generalized to include such people. I admire those who strive to make themselves more than what they are - who seek to earn and achieve, for that is a sign of strength and domination. But I resent people who seek easy, hollow routes to power and success.
It also annoys me coming into contact with "subbies" who want to tell me what to do… ~laughs~. It's that whole "gift of submission" thing, mixed with what turns into them somehow being the "top" in the equation… with me allegedly there to serve their need to serve ~rolls eyes~. The weak trying to bind the strong to their whim - yeah, that's how I describe female domination ~laughs~, I'm of course being sarcastic. Sadly, this notion is very common, both in behavior and things making a mess of Online - resonings covered in a smokescreen of hot air and bottom topping slave written excuses. It makes me ill to come into contact with and is an automatic path to rejection by me.
I'm not talking about people who want to ask questions first, or even those who want to share their fetish fantasies and desire to fulfill them. Those who have concerns they wish to discuss or who simply want to be safe in what they get involved in - if anything that is a good sign (so long as not ridiculously overwrought, or deceptive). Not everyone is into this as a lifestyle… for most it’s something enjoyed as a single part of their life and they try to keep proper perspective in how they enjoy it. That's not a problem with me so long as that person is honest and respectful. Cop an attitude though and your ass goes out the window… start trying to dictate or impose and you'll get laughed at on your way down to reality's pavement.
Everyday people who enjoy BDSM on a strictly limited, only sexual level are perfectly fine, and can be quite enjoyable for someone like me. Actually, most people I meet in these circles have this outlook, and there are plenty I have enjoyed thoroughly ~grinz~, some of which I've taken interest in beyond a simple moment's distraction.
My concern when considering someone is that they be a honest person and possess a bit of a wild side… that they aren't smothered in hang-ups and issues… that they have a basic understanding of what they are getting into, and if not, that they be open about this with me and seek to learn… that they don't get lost in what we are doing and forget about reality, responsibility, and obligations… and the obvious - that they will damn well respect the person I am and show that respect for me constantly.
Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
Continued in Part XXXV - Lifestyle Dominatrix
"BDSM can open doors to wonderfully pleasurable experiences…
not just sexual acts, but an environment that allows people to find themselves.
And yet, it can also be used in very horrible ways… to find out other things…
In the course of your interrogation, you'll learn more about yourself than you ever imagined - Extreme BDSM"
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Not trying to be funny, just wondering - what does shibari mean?
Sorry I did’nt say this first. I do agree with you Domina. With anything you get involved in, a person should be honest about what they are doing. Too great a chance of someone getting hurt in BDSM, both physically from someone who doesnt know waht they are doing, and emotionally since relationships are involved. Thank you for sharing your perspective and expanding on what you look for in potential slaves.
Terry, shibari refers to Japanese rope bondage. When you look at pictures of beautiful and sometimes intricate rope designs on people with strategically placed knots and patterns - often used for suspension as well - you are probably looking at shibari.