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A few posts ago I said that I would give a general example of the contradictions regarding domination that exist within the BDSM community. In this case in particular, how the perceptions and expectations of those "into" domination strictly as sexual gratification, and true dominant personalities can be quite different within the same setting, and how its easily understandable that this would be annoying to the latter.
It's a memory from the first time I was in a BDSM club back when I was still in my teens (I was such a little shit pussy & cock tease then ~laughs~)… one that made a somewhat lasting impression on me, however worthless the central figure(s) of the occurrence otherwise was. It's not a memory that altered my way of thinking at all, quite the contrary, it only served to reinforce those opinions I was then coming to recognize for that they were… and may have actually contributed in some way to the more harsh and literal views on dominance that I have.
Now, the thing about this example is that it demonstrates something very common, and even somewhat accepted in general BDSM circles. Something that is absolutely absurd to those of us who are Dominant by Nature, not by clothing.
When you go to a BDSM club you'll see quite a mix of humanity, not just in terms of the different fetish choices but intentions. Many of these places have become so overrun by childish spectators as to be "untenable" - as morality shifts and with it inhibitions, so too does what the masses deem "cool and wild to see"… and so must the rest of us suffer.
Ignoring all of that though… what I am talking about is a particular breed of submissive (and it has its own wonderful form of "dominant" counterpart too). Often you go to these places and see this type of creature walking around with this haughty, cocky sort of attitude, sizing up the "dominants" (be they really that or not) as if he is the most important thing in the place, and he is the one in pseudo-charge of what may occur if he so decides. Behavior making it very clear that he feels that it is the dominant individuals who are presenting themselves to him, and that they are the ones here to do the serving. What a load of fake ass shit.
The very first time I was in a BDSM club (this was a while ago, back in NYC; one of the rather well known ones - it was open to the public that night with a very tame slave auction as the evening’s theme), I was sitting with a few friends who were professional dominatrices at the time (not sure if all still are - know for fact one is), and there was this fat bloated mess of a guy - dressed in biker boots, and black leather jock-strap, harness, and cap, and that's it. Hairy chest and hanging belly. And he was walking around with this "I'm hot shit" look on his fake slave face… sizing up all the women in the place, especially each and every dominatrix there. This stupid, challenging, smug look of "I bet I could take you… you couldn't break me" that he pointed at each lady, as he leered and appraised. I wanted to punch him in his head and kick him repeatedly in his fat boy gut, but that's another one of the funny problems with BDSM - do something like that and the guy might actually like it ~laughs~, and you end up giving him more a prize than a beating.
The typical response from the more serious crowd is to ignore idiots like that (effective denial, since it's not of the fetish sort except for a few who like being ignored), and many bring along collared male slaves to usher the crap along… or simply don't frequent the public places, going on to private events and more discrete female domination clubs.
But these types are commonplace across the board… found not just in joke clubs, but everywhere. The concept of "dominant" and "submissive" can be so hollow that many phase in and out of whatever supposed "sex role" they claim without seeming to even realize it.
If you're going to be a submissive then act like one, idiot. You don't have to submit to everyone (use your common sense - and no, don't be a "no limit slave" - do that crap with someone you know very well, not some idiot you've barely met… when he/she sends you to the hospital we all end up getting a bad name for it), but let's see a little consistency and dedication to what you say is so exciting for you. Yeah, yeah… there are those who love to challenge and be "broken down" - shove that up your butt with everything else. I'm not here to perform for you, it's the other way around… how is that difficult to understand.
Present yourself as what you claim to be. Behave in a manner fitting that, while being sensible as to what you involve yourself in and who with. If you love submission, then carry yourself in a way that reflects this. If it's only sexual submission and something you enjoy for play, then when within that circle, be true to that role while again behaving responsibly. Those who truly feel submission and are aroused by it will find themselves getting even more out of what they enjoy this way… much more so than when they wallow in contradiction (though usually, these walking contradictions aren't really even into what they claim to be… but that‘s another story and one worth as little contemplation as its human motivation).
Domination, submission, whatever. Have some consistency to what you enjoy, and depth to it within whatever circles you choose to enjoy it in. You'll find yourself enjoying it even more, regardless of your viewpoint on lifestyle.
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Continued in Part XXXIII - BDSM Dominatrix
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And if I may add ..
Dress your best! Too many times I have sent new boys back home to change, before introducing him to my circle of Friends. Shoddyness is disrespectful and will never impress any Woman of Quality.
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