"Your abduction was just the beginning… true bondage and imprisonment now begins…
You will be left chained… walled away alone with little food and water…
Until we wish to drag you into the main dungeon… for entertainment - Bondage Sex"
Keeping within the context of sexual domination… when you compare a true dominant or submissive personality with a sexual role-player, the difference between the two usually makes itself quickly clear, because they are essentially two different things. But in past posts I've pointed out how since the same term is used in reference to both, things become not so clear, at least initially.
Within the BDSM community, the attempt is made to make some sort of distinction here… if not between the word's use in terms of dominant personality as compared to sexual domination, then at least between those who see it as simply a part of their sex lives, and those who see it as a reflection of their dominant personalities, and thus lives as a whole (same being true of sexual submission). This attempt at clarification comes in the form of the word "lifestyle".
In the case of the dominant personality, a "Lifestyle Dominant" would refer to someone who is assertive and controlling not just in the bedroom, but at all times - it's who they are, not who they play. But since it's a phrase originating within BDSM circles, it's automatically linked primarily to sexuality, and thus carries a biased context not suitable for general reference (rightfully so, since the title isn't used to denote those outside of the BDSM community - it doesn't refer to just a truly dominant personality, but to such a person who also practices sexual domination, particularly of a kink inclusive form… thus its both sides of the coin in one).
As reasonable and well intended as this may be, the problem resulting is twofold - First, the word "lifestyle" gets tacked onto just about everything BDSM now, from the example I gave, to Femdom Lifestyle, Female Domination Lifestyle, Lifestyle Dominatrix, BDSM Lifestyle and every fetish you can think of -lifestyle (wouldn't shock me to see the declaration of a "domination phone sex lifestyle" sometime in the future). Second, there is nothing to stop someone yet again from grabbing up the word as a means of trying to impress others, regardless of how false their claim may be. End result is that the use of the word has become so prevalent that unless you run into a truly honest person, its meaning is almost worthless in actual application.
Even when not deceitful, many of those who call themselves "lifestylers" within the BDSM community are really just role-players who think that because they are really, really into their play, that play must be their "lifestyle", or has to be a clear indication of their "true personality" ( - these are often identity seeker types - those who join groups to "find themselves" through finding something to belong to that gives them a sense of worth and purpose). For some this is the result of excitement over finding people who enjoy the same sexual fetish as they do… for others this is a kind of desperation - a want to belong or find someone to belong to that is born of loneliness ("if she is my slave, she has to obey me and can't dump me"… "if I am a slave she will want me and coddle me")… and then there are those who come to this as a result of confusion over what the word lifestyle actually means.
It's come to a point now where "lifestyle", as a word once with meaning and purpose, is almost a joke. It's tossed around with little understanding and less meaning, just as so many of these other words (example - "dominant", as I said earlier, and in similar way). People want easy routes to being impressive, especially if they are incapable of earning what they so desire. Pretty much any option taken to create a distinction in this regard is going to turn into a mess, simply because there will always be people who want to tack words onto themselves to lay claim to something they are not, or to be more fair to some, just don't understand what it is they are doing. (continued in Sexual Domination II…)
Female Domination Phone Sex - 1-800-356-6169
Continued in Part XXXI - Lifestyle Dominatrix
"Extreme sexual torture awaits… submission and compliance are your only solace…
This isn't female domination… this is a femdom inquisition…
Answer the questions now… no one is coming to save you… - Extreme BDSM"
